WHY IS SHE BEUTIFUL, TALENTED, AND ALONE ?

Why would a beautiful, talented person be without a date or a partner? Do you think it's because: all the good ones are married, there isn't anyone you can trust "out there," she isn't young enough, she isn't thin enough, and, it's just impossible to meet a good guy at her age?

Though dating and meeting someone isn't as easy as plucking a plum off of a tree, attractive people can throw a bunch of roadblocks in their paths. The obstacles then become intimidating. Beautiful people often do not understand that just as they put the roadblocks there, they can remove them.

Here are some of the roadblocks people construct that keep them single:

* ROADBLOCK #1: An obsession to be perfect

Even though single beautiful people look like they have everything going for them, they don't see it that way. They say things like: they can't go out to meet people because they have to lose some weight, or go get Botox treatments, or consider liposuction, or get their house looking perfect. They have a long list of things to do first. Do you have any of these thoughts running through your head?

SOLUTION: How can you start dating? First, start to associate yourself with people who see you as wonderful. Then, work to counter the negative voice that tells you that you are not enough. Finally, set some reasonable goals about your weight and other changes you want to make. Give yourself a time frame within which to accomplish what you need. Talk with your best friend or a coach about what is realistic. REMEMBER: no one is perfect.

* ROADBLOCK #2: Fear of rejection

Beautiful people who are alone are often good at their work, admired by their peers, gorgeous, and athletic. Why do they fear rejection? Why doesn't the confidence in their work transfer over into their social life? Because many singles imagine that they are unworthy. If other singles don't pursue them and fall madly in love with them, they think they have been rejected. They then consider this as evidence that they will never find love. Do you recognize that fear in yourself?

SOLUTION: Why aren't you dating? It is easy to feel rejected if you do not take action to meet people. Success comes in the VOLUME of people you meet. You have to get out often, be friendly, and start conversations. If someone does not respond to you, you just move on because you have a volume of people to relate to. If you have four or five guys (or gals) asking you out, who cares if one of them is eliminated? You see it as simply a weeding process.

* ROADBLOCK #3: Fear of taking risks

Beautiful and talented singles will often do anything to get out of taking risks. We're not talking about bungee jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. But I think they would find that less fearful than going out and socializing. They go to work, stay long hours, spend the weekends catching up on work, and rarely go anywhere. Dinner and a movie with a friend once a month is about as exciting as it gets. Then, they fuss about how no one ever asks them out. How could anyone find them? Are you hidden away where no one can see you?

SOLUTION: Why aren't you dating? The primary thought that keeps singles from going out is that it is undignified to go "looking" for love. They may think it is not respectable to be flirtatious. Therefore, they may not make any gestures toward being friendly with other singles. But what happens is that singles can eventually become hermits and seem aloof to others when they do go out. All it takes is a plan to socialize and then to be friendly when they get there.

If you are single and alone and want to meet someone, can you smile, make eye contact, ask a question, and listen? Of course you can. Now is the time to remove your roadblocks and make your single life happy.