I hear this question often when I'm on many of the different dating websites and forums, how long should I wait after a divorce before I start dating. While every location has its own standards about what is appropriate, it is a much better idea to place your own needs and feelings above these standards. One of the most important things to keep in mind is that by starting to date again after your divorce you are recapturing your status as single, it's generally a good idea to not hold off too long on this. Regardless of your marriage or the reasons for the divorce, it is important to start seeing yourself as someone who's single, and to convey this to other people and in your general life.
When you start to decide how long you should wait before you begin dating, seeing yourself and presenting yourself as someone who is single, is the most beneficial way to go on with your life after you have a divorce. When you make this decision you should try to avoid these two common mistakes; the first being that of isolating yourself from social contacts and general socializing; the second is when you get into another relationship far ahead of when you are actually ready. These two common mistakes are counterproductive and will stand in your way of your immediate need, which is to reestablish yourself as being a single, independent person.
Going back into the social scene of dating after a divorce should mean standing on your own two feet and taking the fist steps in your life without your former spouse: this should be priority one for you. In some circumstances there are factors that you need to take into consideration, such as weather you still have ties to your former spouse, as this can make the transition to being single more difficult it they are not addressed. Also if you and your former spouse maintain some aspect of contact because of children or money problems, for example, it is important to keep a perspective on the issues and to not let them interfere with your being single and needing to move on with your life. You are the only person who can decide what necessary contact is and what is just adding more strain and stress to your new life.
Each individual needs will be different, it is in your best interest not to let too much time go by between when you get a divorce and when you start your new single life. Starting to socialize more, including dating, is a major part of this transition. There is no golden rule that applies to everyone, a year or more is generally considered too long to remain in a divorced limbo, and not yet into the real world. Your independence is key, as it is a sure sign that you are looking onward to the rest of your life.
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